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Author Topic: Charlie Sheen in Cable News?  (Read 3286 times)

LeerRosh

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Charlie Sheen in Cable News?
« on: March 10, 2011, 12:31:00 pm »
Quote
We live in strange times, and cable news is in business to chronicle that. As you may know, there is big money in the cable news universe, but two of the big players, MSNBC and CNN, are having major ratings problems. Last month in primetime, the Fox News Channel was the second highest rated cable channel in the United States behind the USA network. MSNBC came in 26th, CNN 29th. Not good for them.

So if I'm an executive at those two networks, I may be looking for a program host who is filled with tiger's blood—an unchained warlock who is all about "winning." That man, of course, is Charlie Sheen.

Here are his qualifications for hosting a cable chat show. Sheen believes the attack on September 11th was an inside job, asserting that the Bush administration was behind the mass murder. Hear that, MSNBC?

Sheen is also extremely successful by his own account. He told ABC's 20/20, "Every day is just filled with wins. All we do is put wins in the record books. We win so radically in our underwear before our first cup of coffee, it's scary." Sheen riffed that off the top of his head. THAT's scary. And I believe CNN needs some wins.

If you read the New York Times, you know that Charlie Sheen would be a moderate compared to the anchors on Fox News. Almost every day, the Times tells the world how heinous the Fox News people really are. Sheen would almost be, dare I say it, conservative by comparison. A welcome breath of fresh air from the rantings of yours truly and Glenn Beck.

In this crazy high-tech age, cable news is all about being provocative. Larry King found that out the hard way. So who is more provocative than Charlie Sheen? Qaddafi? Maybe. Bin Laden? Assured. But both would have trouble getting green cards, so they'll probably wind up hosting shows on Al Jazeera.

Charlie Sheen might be better suited for the E! network, but that is not where the money and prestige is. Today in America, the cable news primetime people can become stars. That is something Sheen embraces, telling the Today Show, "I'm tired of pretending I'm not a total bitchin' rock star from Mars. And people can't figure me out; they can't process me. I don't expect them to. You can't process me with a normal brain."

That bio might be a bit much for CNN, although I'd love to hear James Earl Jones introduce Sheen using the outer space terminology.

In the end, somebody will hire Charlie Sheen. Mark Cuban says he might do it. You may remember that Cuban hired Dan Rather and put him on some kind of internet show. I believe Sheen and Rather might go well together. "Good evening, this is the Cuban Nightly News with Dan Rather alongside a totally bitchin' rock star from Mars."

I like it.

provacative?  yes.  but then again, it is a pretty messed up issue.
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steve

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Re: Charlie Sheen in Cable News?
« Reply #1 on: March 10, 2011, 05:13:56 pm »
He's a G.


<3

pikachu

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Re: Charlie Sheen in Cable News?
« Reply #2 on: March 10, 2011, 09:39:40 pm »
I don't understand why this is still in the news.  That show isn't wasn't funny.  Nobody would put me on the news if I got hookers and coke and ranted about how awesome I am.  I will though, if anybody from the news is reading this.  (please)

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Re: Charlie Sheen in Cable News?
« Reply #3 on: March 12, 2011, 11:39:37 pm »
i liked the show, sucks they canceled it



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Nico

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Re: Charlie Sheen in Cable News?
« Reply #4 on: March 13, 2011, 01:12:52 am »
The show was mildly funny at most, it didn't really appeal to me. After the first couple of seasons, i stopped watching that crap.
Seinfeld > *
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Re: Charlie Sheen in Cable News?
« Reply #5 on: March 13, 2011, 03:07:42 am »
Ricky, i think you are just mad because you don't have tiger blood running in your vains!
YOU ARE NOT ON THE SHEENS LVL!!!!!

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Re: Charlie Sheen in Cable News?
« Reply #6 on: March 13, 2011, 04:30:02 pm »
it was #1 show, thats gg



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LeerRosh

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Re: Charlie Sheen in Cable News?
« Reply #7 on: March 14, 2011, 11:20:01 am »
I don't understand why this is still in the news.  That show isn't wasn't funny.  Nobody would put me on the news if I got hookers and coke and ranted about how awesome I am.  I will though, if anybody from the news is reading this.  (please)
agreed 100 percent.
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Loud

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Re: Charlie Sheen in Cable News?
« Reply #8 on: March 14, 2011, 02:47:10 pm »
Yeah nobody would care, cause you aren't famous. But every single famous person that puts piles of white powder up their nose and drinks whiskey like water will always be in the news. It's what 'society' is interested in. Unless it's a normal member of society doing it. At that point it's not entertainment, it's a social problem. See how that works?
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pikachu

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Re: Charlie Sheen in Cable News?
« Reply #9 on: March 15, 2011, 02:49:20 pm »
Either way, if it grabs attention, it's for our culture's desire to see the self destruction of others.  It's comforting to think that your own life is going swimmingly compared to that of Lindsay Lohan:



lol

LeerRosh

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Re: Charlie Sheen in Cable News?
« Reply #10 on: March 16, 2011, 02:36:29 pm »
Sadly, its true.  So not only has Charlie Sheen fallen, so has Miley Cyrus and Lyndsy Lohan.  Where are the celebrities who are normal people?  Other than political figures of course.
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Crisis

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Re: Charlie Sheen in Cable News?
« Reply #11 on: March 16, 2011, 06:26:26 pm »
Sadly, its true.  So not only has Charlie Sheen fallen, so has Miley Cyrus and Lyndsy Lohan.  Where are the celebrities who are normal people?  Other than political figures of course.
LOL
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Loud

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Re: Charlie Sheen in Cable News?
« Reply #12 on: March 16, 2011, 08:15:16 pm »
Show me a normal political figure, and I'll show you a delusional man.
Get money.
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LeerRosh

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Re: Charlie Sheen in Cable News?
« Reply #13 on: March 21, 2011, 08:09:06 pm »
Show me a normal political figure, and I'll show you a delusional man.
i was just saying i didn't want to hear about political figures.
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Nico

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Re: Charlie Sheen in Cable News?
« Reply #14 on: April 11, 2011, 11:33:36 pm »
Show me a normal political figure, and I'll show you a delusional man.


Don't worry Loud, i got this covered.



Hint: "It's a Trap!"
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LeerRosh

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Re: Charlie Sheen in Cable News?
« Reply #15 on: April 12, 2011, 10:44:00 am »
^^ awesome pplz aint they?
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